Need You Now
by TJTMaria
Summary: Oneshot. Merlin and Morgana are both needing something, but can't think what. As they run through memories, fate plays a new hand in an unexpected twist for them.


**Okay, I had this idea whilst listening to ****'Need You Now' by Lady Antebellum****. I couldn't help it. So after drowning in Mergana feels, stories playing out in my head, drowning a little more, I decided to just get it out.**

**BTW; Weird fact:: I finished this at exactly quarter past one in the morning. Coincidence? I think not. Obviously fate and destiny at work here.  
Hope you enjoy it.**

Merlin was crouched on the floor, hugging his knees. Arthur had given him the day off so he could spend some time with his wife. Merlin was, of course, happy for them and didn't mind.

Until now.

He could hear the tavern calling his name, all of the alcohol begging him to have a sip.

The door was pushed open and Merlin looked up with lost hope.

_Morgana pushed open the door, striding into the physician's chambers._

"_Is Gauis here?" Her voice was delicate._

Gauis shuffled into the room, yawning. "What are you doing there?" He frowned at his ward, crouched on the steps.

Merlin gave a shrug. "Nothing."

"_Err, no he's not here at the moment, should be back soon though." He sucked in a breath after finishing the sentence. He sounded like he was the one who needed help with the panic in his voice._

"_I need to speak to him, where is he?" Her pearly white teeth gritted together, her voice still delicate._

"_He's gone to see the king." Merlin informed her, still struggling to catch his breath. What was wrong with him all of a sudden? He pushed away his thoughts and concentrated on the woman in front of him. Her eyes were full of fear, confusion. She seemed so…lost. "What's wrong?"_

_She opened her mouth to reply yet nothing came out. She looked down, avoiding his gaze._

_Merlin frowned a little. "You can trust me, Morgana." She looked back up, their eyes locking. "You know you can."_

_After what seemed to be a quick debate with herself she simply stated; "I'm scared, Merlin."_

"_I don't understand anything anymore. I need to know what's happening." She looked at him as if she knew that he knew. He gulped; he wasn't allowed to tell her anything. "Please."_

_He felt shame as he told her; "Gauis will be back soon, he'll be able to help you." He slowly took a step back._

_Her face showed utter disbelief but she stepped closer. "He won't. I don't want any more remedies, they won't do any good." They were so close. "It's magic, Merlin."_

_His jaw dropped a little, his head tilting back. He was desperate to tell her. "What?" He choked out._

_She looked up with hopeful eyes. "I'm your friend, you know I wouldn't make this up."_

_So desperate, so desperate to tell her, to help her, to save her. He felt his eyes starting to water. He frowned, nodding. "Of course."_

"_Then you believe me?" Her voice was a whisper as she scanned his face before speaking louder. "You think it's magic too!"_

_He frowned, leaning back. He couldn't tell her, no matter how much he wanted to. It was for her own good…apparently._

"_Please, I need to hear someone say it so I don't have to keep feeling like I'm imagining it."_

_He nodded. He knew, he understood so well. He said the only truthful thing he could; "I really wish there was something I could say."_

A tear slid down his cheek and he quickly slapped it away. He had wanted to tell her so badly but he couldn't.

He sighed, his mind continuing to play back the memory.

_Her face showed how she felt; betrayed. It was as if she knew that he knew but she didn't know why he wouldn't tell her. She took a step back before practically running out. He called after her but it was no use._

_Not much later he was down in the cave, looking for Kilgharrah. He jumped as the great dragon flew out of nowhere and landed on the rock._

_He wasted no time in getting straight to business. "I need your help. Do you know where the druids are?"_

_The dragon looked him over. "First you must tell me why you seek them."_

_Merlin mentally growled, impatient. Kilgharrah didn't want Morgana to receive help. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. "That doesn't matter."_

"_It does to me."_

_He licked his lips, quickly thinking of something. "I need to ask them something."_

"_I've lived more than a thousand years, seen civilisations rise and fall. Do not believe you can lie to me." Kilgharrah squinted slightly in suspicion._

_He closed his eyes, nodding. The dragon was certainly infuriating at times. "I need their help."_

_Kilgharrah continued to look at him, knowing it wasn't a full answer. Merlin sighed, glancing at a rock quickly. "Someone I care about needs their help."_

He cared about her back then. So much, too much yet not enough.

"_You speak of the witch, the Lady Morgana." Kilgharrah stated._

_Merlin scowled. "She's not a witch. She's my friend."_

"_She cannot be trusted."_

_Merlin raised his eyebrows, feeling anger boil in him. "What makes you say that?"_

"_It would be better if the witch-"_

"_Stop calling her that!" Merlin reacted instantly, scowling once again._

_Kilgharrah ignored him. "It would be better if the witch never knew the extent of her true powers."_

"_You're wrong." Merlin stated firmly, "I know her. She has a good heart."_

"_You've failed to heed my advice in the past and it brought grave consequences."_

"_I won't abandon her."_

Merlin shook his head, biting his lips as he squeezed his eyes, willing the tears to go away.

_You need a drink, mate._ Gwaine's voice stated firmly in the back of his mind. Merlin paused, an idea coming to him.

He glanced behind him. Whilst he had been lost in flashbacks Gauis had blown out the candles and gone to bed, leaving Merlin be.

As he got up and headed out the door, his mind began to speak up.

_I wonder if I ever cross her mind._ He thought before frowning. _Idiot, she has better things to do than think about a servant._

Why was that woman always on his mind?

**_Meanwhile…**

Morgana's hood covered her face as she took another sip of her mead. No-one spared her so much of a glance.

"Not that I'm worth it…" She mumbled to herself, the drink taking affect. She sighed remembering when Arthur had once took her here.

"_You took Morgana to the tavern?" Uther yelled angrily at the young prince. "She is a lady, only meant to be drinking fine wines during dinner and feasts!"_

"_We were just having some fun." Arthur frowned, not seeing anything wrong. He had invited Morgana to go down to the tavern with him and some of the knights to celebrate him winning yet another tournament._

_Unfortunately for them, Uther had found out. Probably due to the fact that they came to breakfast, moaning about their heads; And that fact the knights had carried them both home the previous night._

"_There are plenty of other ways to have fun!" Uther snapped, "Why did you even go to the tavern? You are the prince of Camelot, you have this whole castle! If you wanted a drink with your friends, you could have gone down to the kitchens."_

"_Sorry." Arthur blurted out, though he didn't sound at all apologetic. He had no regrets for the night before._

"_You will speak to me with the respect I deserve!" The king growled, "Show me some before I have you in the stocks."_

_Morgana spoke up, trying to look sorry. "We were just having some fun. The castle can become tedious when you see it every day. The tavern is just a new, exciting place because it's so different and has so different atmosphere."_

"_So you want to go there because it's different?" Uther frowned, not understand._

"_No…" She bit her lip, "Besides, it wasn't like we didn't have a large group of knights with us, half of them sober."_

She smiled at the memory. Uther had been cross with them for a month, maybe two. She and Arthur never regretted it though, no matter how much Uther grounded them. They had hardly ever had so much fun in their lives.

No here she was again, years later. The situation couldn't be more different.

Alone. What had happened? She smiled at the stupidity of the question.

She happened. Merlin happened. Magic happened.

_She tore at the material. What had she done? What had she got herself into?_

_Merlin spun round, holding the water skin in his hands. She glanced at it before looking up to meet his gaze. It was filled with determination and…something else._

_It was gone in a flash, replaced by his usual expression. Her stomach twisted as her instincts told her something was wrong. "Here, have some water." He suggested, holding out the water skin for her to take._

_She glanced at it again, shaking her head. "I'm not thirsty." She quickly went back to ripping the material._

_A moment later he was talking again, trying to persuade her to have the drink. "If we get out of here you may not get another chance to drink."_

_She scoffed; "If we get out of here."_

_There was a roar from outside that would have been Arthur. Merlin jumped up, passing her the water skin as he rushed towards the door. He watched as she almost threw it on the floor, as though it burnt her skin. She turned around shakily. There was something wrong, she knew it._

Morgana looked into her drink, studying it. The memory continued to invade her sight.

_He walked back over, picking up the water skin along the way. She watched as he turned his back on her, taking the cap off the water skin._

_Maybe she was just paranoid._

_She continued to tear the material as he finished, turning back round to face her. He held it out. "Here."_

"_I'm fine." She could hardly look into his eyes._

"_No, y-you have some before I finish it." He seemed to beg her to take it._

_She looked up, her guards coming down. Sweet, caring Merlin. She was just being paranoid, no doubt about it._

_She smiled, taking the water skin. "Thank you."_

_He watched as she took a gulp. A single gulp. It didn't seem right, it didn't seem to fit._

_She pushed away the thoughts as Merlin took the water skin once more and turned his back on her._

Morgana sighed realising his actions spoke louder than words. He turned his back on her, physically but he also turned his back on her emotionally.

_Her throat tickled and she coughed, trying to get rid of it. It burnt as she struggled to breathe normally. She quickly realised it must be poison but how-_

_The water skin._

_Her eyes shot up Merlin just in time to see him slap his face. At least, that's what it looked like to her._

_He turned around, his eyes almost apologizing. She couldn't believe it. Her friend had betrayed her in such a cruel way._

_Betraying someone was one thing, but killing your friend? That was betrayal on a whole new extreme._

_He frowned, turning round to face her properly before giving her a nod. A single nod._

Morgana's hands gripped the mug. That single nod. She hated it.

_Her breath's became gasps and he crouched down to her height, putting an arm on her shoulder._

_Traitor! She screamed inside her head. His touch burnt her skin._

_She wriggled, one hand still on her lower throat whilst the other tried to push him away. It was no use, he was stronger than her anyway._

_Suddenly her breath became even shorter than the last, her whole body begging to breathe properly. She fisted his jacket, not wanting to die alone. She needed him._

_His face was full of different emotions which she couldn't recognise as they all seemed to merge together._

_He held onto her tightly as she silently begged him not to let her go by holding on to him with all the strength she could muster._

Morgana's hands were shaking as the tears began to prickle in her emerald eyes.

That memory always did this to her. She couldn't understand why she thought of it so often.

A thought struck her; did he?

She almost laughed. Of course not. He probably didn't think of her at all. Why would he? He had the long list of chores that Arthur always had set for him; he didn't have time to think of anything.

A cheer from across the room caused her eyes to snap up. A group of men sat there, laughing happily and just being…loud.

She sighed, looking at the candle that was burning on the counter. It was one with lines on, giving you a rough estimate of the time.

"A quarter after one." She whispered to herself. Her gaze fell upon the group of men once more. They were obviously all friends with each other.

It was funny that. On one side of the room you had a group of friends who were loud. On the other side you had a woman sitting on her own, unnoticed by everyone in there.

Before she knew it, her bottom lip was going and she felt this horrible feeling in the back of her throat.

She knew exactly what that was.

She willed herself to be quiet and pulled the cloak further over her face, hiding it from the world.

The hot tears slipped down her cheeks, and her voice box was begging for permission to sob loudly. She shook her head as if it would stop them; obviously, it didn't.

_It's not fair!_ She thought as the tears continued. _I fight for what is right and look where it gets me. Alone and a wanted criminal. Why can't I be wanted because people care about me? Where, along the road to __**this**__, did I lose it all?_

She mentally scowled herself. It was shameful; crying in public, even if no one was paying attention. She was strong, she was not weak. Not like how she used to be.

Not like when Merlin would be there to give her some comfort. No, she wasn't that girl anymore.

She wasn't the girl who got poisoned by her friend and died as he cradled her in his arms and she held on.

Somewhere, far away and tucked in to a corner with a blanket covering it, was a little voice. The voice of that girl. The comfort she had found in her killer when she needed it.

Morgana continued to cry, begging herself to keep quiet. She needed that comfort right now.

As if the angels from heaven heard her plea and felt pity on her, an arm wrapped itself around her body, pulling her closer to another. She gripped the material of the comforter, sobbing in to it.

**_Going back to Merlin….**

Merlin pushed the door open, his change jingling in his pocket as he strode up to the counter.

The man looked up, grumbling. "What do you want?"

"Mead, please." Merlin replied, not forgetting his manners. His mother would have scolded him if he forgot them.

Not a few moments later, that large drink was placed in front of him. He quickly passed over the money required, muttering his thanks before walking over to a table in the corner. He sat down, glancing around the tavern.

A group of men were on the other side, laughing loudly and generally having a good time. Not far behind him was what appeared to be a woman. She was looking down into her glass, her knuckles almost white from the grip she had on it. He frowned a little before her grip lessened and her body relaxed a little more.

He turned around, getting back to his own business. His thought went back to Morgana instantly.

_It was almost tragic._ He thought to himself, taking two big gulps of his drink. _Almost because it is even worse than tragic. I wish it was only tragic…_

His stomach twisted, guilt filling him up. He felt as if he was to blame for it all.

There she was, the Lady Morgana. Her eyes were wide full of confusion and fear. She was hurting, it was clear.

Then she changed. Still the same person, but as the same time it wasn't. She had a dark air around her, her eyes filled with…nothing. They were just shells of what they once were.

He suddenly understood why Kilgharrah had said it would have been better if she hadn't known the true extent of her powers. She did now and she was merely a shell. Before she was in pain but…at least she was feeling.

He nodded to himself, musing over the witch at hand. _Yes, I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all._

He sighed, downing the rest of his drink. He tapped his pocket; still more than enough change. Thank god he saved it all for emergencies.

He glanced around once more. It was a type of emergency…emotional emergency.

He imagined his mother frowning at him, giving him a certain look that would have him shuffling his shoes and looking down in shame.

Heck, even imaging that look caused him to react like that.

Merlin heaved himself up, blinking a little before scuttling towards the counter.

The same man that had been there before looked up. "Same again?" He asked.

Merlin nodded in reply, pulling the coins out of his pocket and setting them on the table.

After a minute or two he was sitting back in his original seat, watching the liquid swirl around in the ginormous mug.

His thoughts once again returned to Morgana. All he felt for her was…sad.

Somewhere, far away in the very back of his mind, tucked into a corner with a blanket thrown on top was a voice. It laughed, scoffing at the statement. _All?_

Merlin shook his head. It was that one word. That one word was all it took for his eyes to water. Of course, he didn't cry. He was a man, after all.

Glancing back up towards the counter, he noticed the candle on a dish which had created a pool of wax at the bottom. He squinted his eyes, trying to read the hour. _A quarter after one._

He sighed, turning back to his drink as he tried to ignore the wetness in his eyes. _I don't deserve the privilege of crying. Not after everything I've done._

A sudden sob caught his attention. He frowned, not sure if he had imagined it or not. You never know when you might start going mad.

The sob sounded again and he twisted his body around, scanning the room for the source. His gaze fell upon the woman in the black cloak.

Her body shook as she appeared to try and hold back the sobs. Merlin sighed; he might as well do a good deed.

He slowly stood up and stumbled over towards the woman, sitting down next to her. She didn't seem to notice – even though he hadn't been quiet in his journey from one table to another.

The woman continued to try and hold in her sobs. It was clear that this was proving difficult and she obviously didn't like people seeing her weak. Merlin couldn't help but be reminded of that one person….

He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer. She responded quickly, shuffling into him and grabbing a fistful of his jacket as she sobbed into it.

He slowly put his other arm around her, rubbing her back and resting his chin on her head which was still concealed by her dark cloak.

Merlin couldn't help but notice that he felt rather at peace as he held the women. It almost felt right; had the situation been different.

In some strange, peculiar ways, it almost felt…familiar.

They stayed like that for a while, holding on to one another, neither aware of whom the other person was but only aware of the fact it was what they needed.

The bar man had exchanged with another man, giving himself a break. Slowly, the tavern began to clear. The cluster of friends on the other side began leaving the tavern in small groups, all smiling as they exited the tavern. None spared the couple a glance.

The new bar man looked toward the pair in the corner, hugging one another and not speaking a word. A smile crept up on his face. It slipped off though as he remembered that he had to make sure the tavern was empty – apart from people staying upstairs – by three o' clock; hence why they had the candle on the counter.

The man glanced at the candle which confirmed his suspicions to be correct. Three o'clock.

He shuffled over to the pair, his stomach sinking a little, guilt filling him up. He looked at them, about to speak when they realised they had fallen asleep. He felt his heart warm at the sight; it was adorable.

Not that he would ever say that out loud, of course.

He quickly tucked in the last of the chairs neatly before blowing out the candles. With a final smile at the sleeping couple, he headed upstairs to the warmth of his own bed.


End file.
